Caregiving can be one of the most rewarding experiences. It can also be one of the most stressful. Often, caregivers become so concerned with caring for their loved one that they lose sight of their own well-being. When caregivers don’t get the physical, emotional and spiritual support they need, the stress of caregiving can leave them vulnerable to a wide range of problems, including depression, anxiety and caregiver burnout.
If during the past week you’ve felt completely overwhelmed, had a crying spell, or felt strained between work and family responsibilities, chances are that you are experiencing a high degree of distress. Coping with caregiver stress is critical not only to your health and well-being but also to your aging loved one’s.
Here are six tips for coping with caregiver stress.
Embrace Caregiving as a Choice
Many family members who care for an aging parent feel stuck in a role they didn’t expect and don't self-identify as “caregivers.” This feeling of powerlessness can quickly lead to caregiver stress. However, many caregivers also report that caring for a loved one gives their lives meaning and is gratifying in allowing them to give back to someone else. Acknowledging that you have made a conscious choice to provide care and that caregiving has positive aspects can be an important way of coping with stress.
Ask for Help
Caregiving is a team effort. Even if you are the primary caregiver, you should never be the only caregiver. Try to get as many family members involved as possible. Make a list of ways that others can help you, and let them choose which caregiving task they’re comfortable with. Maybe your sister who lives out of state calls your mom each night to chat and your brother handles the finances and the bills. Respite care, such as in-home respite, adult care centers and programs, and short-term respite care stays at nursing homes, can also allow you to take a well-deserved break.
Use Relaxation Techniques
There are several simple relaxation techniques that can help relieve stress. Next time you’re overwhelmed, try slowing your breathing and focusing on taking deep breaths while mentally picturing a place or situation that is peaceful and calm. Combining healing breaths with visualization for five to 10 minutes can help you feel replenished and refreshed. Other relaxation techniques include sitting and walking meditation, progressive muscle relaxation, and creative activity. Try more than one to find which works best for you.
Prioritize Your Health
As a caregiver, you're more likely to experience symptoms of depression or anxiety. Additionally, if you’re not getting enough sleep or physical activity or eating a balanced diet, you’re at greater risk of medical problems, such as heart disease and diabetes. Take care of your health by getting 30 minutes of physical activity most days. Fuel your body with fresh fruit and vegetables, lean protein, and healthy fats. Establish a good sleep routine. Visit your doctor regularly. Make sure to tell them that you're a caregiver, and don't hesitate to mention any concerns or caregiver stress symptoms you have.
Seek Social Support
A lot of caregivers let their personal relationships take a back seat to caregiving, but maintaining these relationships will help sustain you and keep you positive. Stay connected with family and friends. Whether you go on a 30-minute walk with a friend who can offer nonjudgmental emotional support or you call your sister who makes you laugh, set aside time each week for connecting. Get connected to the caregiving resources in your community, too. Many communities have classes specifically about the disease your loved one is facing, and it might be helpful to talk to other caregivers about how they are coping with the challenges of the disease and uncertainty about the future. A local or online support group for caregivers is another source for finding comfort and reassurance. Joining a local support group will not only allow you to get out of the house but also talk about caregiving challenges and listen to other people talk and receive validation and encouragement.
Applaud Your Own Efforts
Some caregivers struggle with guilt, whether they feel like they’re not doing a good enough job as a caregiver or they didn’t do enough to have prevented them from getting sick in the first place. It's normal to feel guilty sometimes, but no one is a "perfect" caregiver. Focus on what you are able to provide, and give yourself a pat on the back. Remind yourself of the good you’re doing by writing in a journal about the things you do each day to help your loved one and the ways your caregiving is making a positive difference.
