Living a happy, fulfilling life is what we strive for. But, when the diagnosis is dementia or Alzheimer’s, this can seem like a challenging task. Changes in mood, frustration with changes in the ability to communicate with others, and memory lapses can make a happy, fulfilling life for those with long-term memory loss seem impossible.How can you help your mom lead a happy and fulfilling life when she constantly accuses you of stealing her checkbook? How can you help your 85-year-old dad when he’s upset because he's late for work? People with dementia need many of the same things the rest of us do: meaning, community, and social and physical engagement. But, they are in less control of creating a happy, fulfilling life than we are. They need support in order to go to bed feeling good about what they accomplished during the day.  

Caring for a loved one with memory loss requires creativity, patience and an understanding of how the disease progresses. Looking for a few ways to help a parent or loved one lead a happy, fulfilling life? Take a look at a few of the ways Highgate at Temecula has committed to creating meaningful experiences and opportunities at its Temecula CA memory care program. You may just find a couple of things you can incorporate into your loved one’s day.

Interests: Joy and Meaning

Our jobs, families, and hobbies are what give our lives meaning and joy. Fishing, knitting, playing the piano, the list goes on and on. Most of these are no longer possible for those with dementia. With a little ingenuity, however, we can help them once again enjoy what they love.

Maybe dad used to be an avid woodworker. Give him a set of kids' woodworking tools, and he's back in his woodshop, having the time of his life. Maybe mom used to knit. She can still work with the yarn, touch it and maybe even talk to others about what she knitted. It's important to remember that while those with dementia don't retain facts and skills – they may not remember how to knit – they do retain emotions – they'll remember knitting positively.

Exercise: Improve Strength and More

When we exercise, we’re healthier, and we look and feel better. And, according to the National Institute on Aging, "exercise may delay or slow cognitive decline in older adults."

Regular exercise improves strength and boosts immunity. The stronger our bodies are, the easier it is for them to fight off illness and infection and heal quicker. It also helps with digestion and improves appetite, two areas that can be problematic for the elderly.  

Music: Transport and Calm

Do you have one? A song that, when you hear it, magically transports you back in time? Suddenly you're back at summer camp, your first semester of college, or on your first date?

Music impacts a part of our brain that isn't affected by Alzheimer's and other forms of dementia. That's why your loved one might not be able to recognize you but can remember a song they learned in childhood.

Studies have shown that music has a dramatic effect on mood, regardless of our state of mind. For those with memory loss, it can reduce agitation, and improve behavioral issues. Since people with dementia don't retain facts but do retain emotions, singing songs from their past can also bring immense joy and allow them to connect with others, even after speaking has become difficult.

Massage: The Power of Touch

As we age, physical contact with others often decreases. That can lead to depression, anxiety, and feelings of isolation regardless of a person's state of cognition.

Massage works wonders for physical and mental health. The types we use include:

• Slow-stroke back massage – promotes production of endorphins that help suppress pain and uplift mood.
• Hand massage – decreases cortisol, the stress hormone, which decreases aggressive behavior and wandering, and improves sleep. It also boosts mood and immunity.
• Foot massage – relieves anxiety, eases pain, and promotes sleep and deep relaxation.

As caregivers, it can be a little overwhelming to realize that it’s our job to discover what happiness and fulfillment look like for those we care for. But, with a little creativity, patience, and understanding of how the disease progresses, it’s possible to create fulfilling life experiences.

Are you caring for a loved one with Alzheimer’s or dementia? Have you considered what a memory care community has to offer for their quality of life? Learn more about Highgate's memory care program.