You may have noticed your mom isn’t attending her bible study or card club as frequently anymore, showing signs she is more socially withdrawn than the last time you saw her. Or, your dad’s memory has worsened and pill bottles that should have been empty this visit are still half full.
Recognizing the signs, it’s time to start considering assisted living is the first step. But in reality, finding the right community for a parent can take some time.
Planning early for assisted living instead of waiting for a crisis has its benefits. An unplanned event can force families to make last-minute arrangements, and it’s hard to feel confident in a major life-changing decision when it feels rushed. Adding to the stress, the community you wanted to select may have a wait list, leaving you to consider less desirable options.
The process itself can be more time-consuming than families realize. Downsizing, selling a home, or getting your family’s finances in place are key steps for many families well before you plan the physical move.
Here’s a look at four key factors that influence the timing of an assisted living move-in.
The first factor that plays a key role in the timing of an assisted living move is the amount of support your loved one needs now. Seniors with higher in-home care needs have a higher likelihood of needing an emergency move for various reasons, such as a fall, a hospitalization, or a fast decline in overall health.
Your parent’s care needs are important in predicting move-in timing. If your loved one has mobility issues or is struggling with medication management or memory loss, being proactive in having a plan can prevent the high levels of stress that come with a crisis-related more.
Nervous about starting the conversation with a parent who isn’t showing signs of needing more assistance? You're not alone. The good news is, parents are often more receptive to discussing their wishes when they are healthy than when crisis strikes. In fact, nearly 50 percent of aging parents say they’re worried about being a burden to their children.
Also a plus, other families who have walked in your shoes are often willing to discuss their experience and give you a few pointers to get you started.
If your parent initiated the search for assisted living, they're likely doing so with the help of loved ones. In a crisis, families often end up navigating the search alone.
And if your looking for both parents, finding an assisted living community that is the right fit for a married couple can be twice as difficult. Not every assisted living offers specialized programs that allow couples to live in the same apartment while each receives the individualized care they need.
Family dynamics can be complicated. If your siblings aren’t on the same page, a variety of resources can make navigating these challenging conversations easier. Here are three articles for adult children navigating complex sibling relationships while searching for assisted living:
Although every family is different, it can be helpful to think of the search for assisted living in terms of seasons:
There are a few common mistakes families make when searching for an assisted living facility for their loved ones. Those mistakes can lead to you needing to move your loved one to a different assisted living facility or seriously overpaying for senior living.
If you’re just diving into understanding your parent’s current finances, a checklist can be a helpful tool for tracking down key documents and information.
Assisted living is affordable, but the first question many families ask when starting a search is, “how much does assisted living cost,” and “how will we pay for it?” Families can use a combination of personal savings, retirement accounts, veterans benefits, pensions, and Social Security payments (among other sources) to pay for assisted living. And in some cases, families also choose to sell a home.
If you need to sell a home before your loved one can move, it typically takes at least a month longer to move in than families who don’t need to sell a home first. Families with lower monthly budgets also typically take longer to find the right fit due to limited availability.
There are some lesser-known ways to pay for assisted living, such as life insurance benefits and conversions, reverse mortgages and home equity lines of credit, annuities, and bridge loans. If you plan ahead and do your research, you can take advantage of all means available that can help pay for assisted living.
Ultimately, the amount of time needed to move your parent into assisted living can vary. Most importantly, the search is much easier for families that have taken the time to be prepared and have a plan. Having “The Talk,” visiting assisted living communities, and making arrangements to move in take time that a crisis may not allow you to have.
Still not sure it’s time to start the search for assisted living? Download our eBook Signs It’s Time to Start the Search for Assisted Living.