Couples can consider assisted living facilities for many different reasons.  Perhaps your dad has a dementia diagnosis and your mom is looking for a little additional support caring for him day to day.  Or, perhaps mom has experienced a life-altering medical event (such as a stroke or heart attack), and managing medications or activities of daily living (like dressing or bathing) is becoming a bit too much for your dad to handle alone.

If both spouses need assistance, it can become doubly difficult to remain at home, alone without daily support. Living in an assisted living community allows each person to receive the individual support they may need.  “Couples often move to Highgate, one caring for the other. When they’re in assisted living, they’re able to be a happily married couple again. The caregiver is back to being the husband or wife,” says Steve Beaudoin, Executive Director of Highgate at Bozeman.  Caring for a spouse can take a toll on your relationship, and assisted living allows for as much or as little support as you each may need and want. 

Couples Care and More

In addition to support with activities of daily living or medical needs, Highgate creates unique activities geared specifically towards couples.  From romantic dinners to movie nights, outings and game nights, the variety is endless.

Residents’ relationships with staff, and their sense of fun, often leads them to include staff in couples' activities. A while back, several resident couples in Billings drafted Bridget Woods, Life Enhancement Coordinator, and her new husband into playing the Newlywed Game. “The longest-married couple that was playing had been married for 70 years," said Bridget. "We’d been married for five days!”

"I love that they have couples offerings," said Mary. "Last year we moved in right before the prom that capped off Active Aging Week. It was so fun and elaborate! The trouble the staff go to is just amazing to me.”

After moving to an assisted living community, some spouses enjoy “leaving it to the experts”, while others remain as hands on as possible with the care of their spouse.  Each couple is different, and Care Partners at Highgate respect those boundaries.  Here’s how.

Support When You Need It, but Independence When You Don’t

Mary and Bill have been married for almost 44 years and live in assisted living at Highgate in Bozeman. Bill was diagnosed with dementia. “It’s nice for me to get a little respite, so to speak," said Mary. “The care partners help Bill. It’s good for him and for me.”  Mary is able to take breaks to allow care partners to care for her husband, but still enjoys doing much of the care for her husband herself.  “I do take breaks, but I love to take care of him!” 

Mary confidently believes she made the right decision moving to Highgate with her husband.  “I think he’s done a lot better.  He’s remained more of himself because he’s here”.

Celebrating Anniversaries

Anniversaries hold a special place in the heart of Highgate Care Partners. Beaudoin shared, "one of our couples recently celebrated their 65th anniversary. Glen lives in assisted living and Ruth lives in memory care. A Care Partner asked Glen what type of cake they had at their wedding: lemon with toasted coconut frosting. Staff and residents in memory care made the cake together. It was the first time in 65 years that Glen and Ruth had enjoyed that cake.”

Whether to enjoy activities tailored to couples, or to receive assistance from Care Partners so you can go back to focusing on quality time with one another, Highgate Senior Living offers a variety of services and recreational activities just for couples.