Choosing an assisted living community can be hard. After all, you want to make sure you find the best place for your loved one — but it also needs to be clean, well-run, and within your budget.
Nervous about making the wrong choice?
If so, you’re not alone. Many adult children struggle with worry and guilt when it comes to choosing an assisted living community.
Being afraid of making a mistake when making such a life-changing decision is completely normal. And, typically, it means you’ll work even harder to be confident in the decision you’ve made.
On the other hand, being worried you’ll make the wrong decision can leave a lot of families in a situation where they wait until a crisis strikes, leaving your loved one to miss out on many of the amenities and features senior living has to offer while they recuperate or rehabilitate. For some families, fear of the unknown or fear of making the wrong decision can leave you avoiding the assisted living talk altogether. But waiting until a crisis strikes can leave you stuck on a long wait list or in an assisted living community that wouldn’t have been your first, second, or even third choice.
When it comes to finding the best assisted living community for your loved one, the more you know the better.
So if your goal is to feel confident that your loved one is living in a community where they are encouraged to live each day to the fullest, a community that offers the right amount of support, while balancing independence, and a community that offers more than what your parent has access to at home, make sure you avoid these five common mistakes people make when researching and choosing assisted living for a loved one.
The best place to start your search is online — but you probably don’t want to search for “nursing homes near me.” That’s because “nursing home” isn’t a catchall term for senior living.
Nursing homes offer 24-hour nursing care, which more so resembles a hospital setting. Designed for seniors who have complex medical conditions who need skilled nursing care, they’re primarily caring facilities that also provide housing.
Assisted living communities, on the other hand, offer apartment-style living, allowing residents to stay as independent as possible while also receiving personal care and support services as needed. Assisted living is primarily housing that provides some care.
Many families believe they need nursing homes for their aging loved one when, in fact, assisted living is the most appropriate option. If your loved one doesn’t require full-time licensed nursing care, a nursing home probably isn’t what you need and can be costly.
Some common assisted living search phrases include:
When searching for the best fit, you’ll want to reflect on what is most valuable in your loved one’s life and find an assisted living community that supports what gives your loved one’s life purpose and meaning.
However, you should also be realistic about what care needs your loved one has and what they might be in the future. For example, if your loved one has a progressive illness such as Alzheimer’s or Parkinson’s disease, you’ll want to look for a community that can accommodate memory loss or mobility changes.
Each state has its own laws, regulations, and licensing standards for assisted living communities. In Montana, for example, Highgate has the Category A, B, and C licenses, which means the communities can help people who are completely dependent on care providers and team members for more than four activities of daily living, which is similar to the type of care one would receive in a nursing home.
However, there are many communities that only have A licensing, so they are not able to help people with higher levels of care needs. Additionally, not all assisted living communities offer a memory care program.
That is why it’s important to think about what your loved one might need in a year or two, if and how a community can meet those needs, and what it could cost.
Yes, the internet is a good place to start, but remember that’s all it is — a good place to start. You don’t want to base your decision on marketing materials and pretty websites alone.
Once you’ve identified a few communities that seem to fit your needs, the best way to determine which one is right for you and your loved one is to visit. Touring potential communities, meeting the team members and residents, and watching the routine of daily life allows you to put your loved one in the picture and ask yourself, “Can I see them here?”
If you can, stay for a meal with current residents. They will be the best source for determining what the community truly offers older adults.
Assisted living communities across the country have an 85.1 percent occupancy rate, so even if you do a lot of research, call and tour the ones that stand out, and then narrow it down to the right one, you might find that it is at 100 percent occupancy.
This is why you want to start your search sooner rather than later and why, when you have a selection of a few assisted living communities, it’s important to call and find out whether they’re currently accepting new residents.
Don’t assume that there is going to be room when you need it. And don’t hesitate to put your name on a waiting list, either. Most assisted living communities require a deposit to be added to a wait list. But most of these deposits are completely refundable.
Families often put their names on waiting lists at several facilities. Even if your loved one isn’t ready to move to assisted living yet, it’s often the case that your first-choice community will not be available when you need it. Planning ahead can give you more control over your options, in addition to saving you time and heartache.
If your first visit to an assisted living community goes well, you always want to go back for a second or third time — without calling ahead.
Unannounced visits are helpful because they allow you to see the assisted living community and its team members during their regular mode of operation rather than during what might have been a carefully prepared visit.
Try to go at a different time of day so you can see how it compares to the first visit. In a more candid and less-staged environment than the regular tour, you may be able to observe some little-known pitfalls and subtle warning signs that maybe the community isn’t the right fit for your loved one.
Researching assisted living can be a big undertaking, but with the right support, information, and knowledge of how families find the best assisted living communities, you can make a decision you and your loved one are confident in.
For more tips, download our How to Research Assisted Living Communities Checklist.