Whether you’ve lived in Temecula all of your life, or have parents who relocated to enjoy the unique retirement lifestyle, researching memory care in Temecula is one of those topics we avoid unless push comes to shove. Even with a family member with a dementia-related diagnosis, many families wait until it’s too late to research their options.   

Sometimes it’s hard for those closest to a parent to recognize the changes that may indicate it’s time to look at other options. Whether because of the sense of obligation we feel as children to care for our parents, or because a parent is completely opposed to the idea of moving, there are many reasons family caregivers wait to consider their options.  

It’s hard to know what to expect from an unpredictable disease. While memory loss, confusion, and disorientation are expected symptoms for one who has been diagnosed with dementia or Alzheimer’s, they’re not the only signs and symptoms of these diseases. Symptoms can include agitation, sleeplessness, restlessness, and extreme personality changes. These unexpected changes can take a toll on caregiver relationships and can make caregiving very difficult. They’re usually unexpected and sudden.

So, what happens when you wait until it’s too late to research your options? Well, first there is the challenge of availability. With a growing number of seniors with dementia-related diagnoses, availability within memory care communities has become scarce.

Secondly, caring for someone with Alzheimer’s or dementia, is emotionally and physically draining. On bad days, caring for someone with dementia can make you feel helpless, worthless, or hopeless. It’s hard to watch someone you care so much about lose their ability to remember people, places and things that meant so much to them. It can be even harder to remember that abusive comments or inappropriate behavior is the result of the crippling disease.  

So how do you know when to start the search? Here are 4 warning signs it’s time to do your research.

• Changes in mood

Dementia can change the mood, behavior and even the personality of your loved one. Moods swings or angry outbursts are unpredictable. Whether your laid-back dad suddenly lashes out at you for moving the tv remote or your mom starts accusing you of stealing her wallet, changes in mood and personality are two of the most upsetting symptoms of dementia.

Verbal, physical and sexual aggression can also occur. Family members and caregivers may feel resentful, angry or frustrated as they cope with these disruptive outbursts. If your loved one is experiencing severe changes in mood or personality, it’s time to consider memory care.

• Safety concerns

Wandering is a common symptom of Alzheimer's and other forms of dementia. According to the Alzheimer's Association, "Six in 10 people with dementia will wander. A person with Alzheimer's may not remember his or her name or address, and can become disoriented, even in familiar places."

Sundowner Syndrome can also cause concern for safety. With Sundowner’s Syndrome, very agitated behavior becomes more pronounced later in the day and normal sleep patterns are thrown off kilter.

In an attempt to relieve the agitation and confusion, your loved one may “exit seek” and you may just end up on a late-night search in your local neighborhood.

If your loved one is experiencing wandering or Sundowners, it’s time to consider memory care.

• Your wellbeing

Have you noticed you are accumulating a stack of unpaid bills, you have sticky countertops, or there are clothes scattered on the bedroom floor when your house used to be neat as a pin? Are you experiencing changes in your own health or mood? Have you suddenly began losing weight since your focus shifted to that of being a caregiver?   Have you quit spending time with friends or enjoying hobbies you once did? These are all signs that caregiving is taking its toll.

"If you're irritable, becoming depressed, losing friendships, not socializing in the world like you had been, your world is getting smaller," says Mary Palmer, RN/BSN, Senior Care Expert. "To realize you can't do it all on your own is really important. I've seen that really decrease the stress level." If you feel as if you're living life only for that person, not for yourself, it's time to consider memory care.

• You’re limiting outings

Changes in environment can be really disruptive to those with dementia. And with unpredictable mood swings or behaviors, it can also be scary to venture out with your loved one. But being cooped up in the same place without interaction with others, as well as activities to keep the day moving (so the body feels naturally inclined to sleep once it’s bedtime) can be equally disruptive.  

Activity, routine and engagement all play important roles in living a purposeful life after a dementia diagnosis. It can also slow the decline of the disease progression. If you are having a difficult time taking your loved one out of the home, it’s time to consider memory care.

You're doing the right thing

Making the commitment to be a family caregiver isn’t a decision you took lightly. Although you have the best of intentions, sometimes the value of considering memory care outweighs the current living situation. If you are coping with changes in mood, safety concerns, limiting outings or putting your own health and wellbeing second, memory care communities can offer a safe environment specially designed for those with dementia-related diagnoses that includes staff that are specially trained to handle even the most challenging of days.