Meetings can be excruciating. From people showing up late to the host forgetting to create an agenda, meetings can often feel like a waste of time. Family meetings are no different.

Family meetings lacking a clear purpose, preparation and engagement from all participants, ground rules, and documentation — essentials of any well-run meeting — are doomed from the beginning.

Despite these potential challenges, there are ways to overcome them. When executed well, a family meeting can be one of the most effective and bonding experiences families can have to create greater harmony and experience more depth and connection with those they love.

Here is a look at five potential challenges when it comes to planning and hosting a family meeting to discuss aging and long-term care and ways to overcome them:

1. Geography

Geography can be a barrier to getting everyone in the same room, but it does not have to prevent your family, including out-of-state siblings, from getting on the same page. There are many technologies that enable everyone to be a part of the discussion, even if they cannot be there physically.

“We live in a time where my grandkids live in Germany, but I FaceTime with them every weekend,” says Shelley Phoenix, a Sales Specialist for Highgate Senior Living. “Even if it's difficult for some family members to travel to the location of the meeting, that shouldn't stop them from participating.”

2. Incorrect Assumptions

It is easy to assume your brother would never agree to a family meeting, but have you asked him? If you assume a brother or sister is less capable or helpful because that is the way you saw them as kids, you are less likely to get help from them. If you approach them differently, they may prove to be more helpful than you think possible. Sometimes, it may be that you simply need to ask.

3. Family Dynamics

Typically, family tension erupts because your family has not had to deal before with the practical, emotional, and financial issues that come with caregiving. However, your family might also be struggling with bigger issues, such as old family secrets, sibling rivalries, unequal burdens, and differing opinions

To prevent these types of conflicts, LaTresh Walker, Healthcare Director at Highgate at Temecula, recommends returning to the question: What is best for Mom or Dad?

“It’s so important for the family to be on the same page,” she says. “Otherwise, the elder doesn’t get the care they need. It’s not about the siblings. Put your differences aside. Stop and look and see what’s best for Mom or Dad.”

4. Time

Lives are already busy, so adding another commitment might make some family members pause. Try your best to get each person to participate. In the end, you might not be able to convince some family members and will have to proceed without them. All you can do is get as much buy-in from as many family members as you can.

If you feel you are carrying too much of the burden, it is possible that your siblings do not even know. Explain how you feel in a matter-of-fact, nonconfrontational way.

“One thing you could do is take notes about the level of assistance you’re providing so your siblings who aren’t in town can get a sense of the scope of the job,” suggests Robyn Grant, director of public policy and advocacy at National Consumer Voice for Long-Term Care, which advocates for quality care and services in any long-term care setting.

5. Roles and Responsibilities

Families do not often discuss caregiving roles and responsibilities. “Sometimes the one who is doing the work isn’t the one handling the money,” says Kathleen Williams, Executive Director of Highgate at Temecula. This can lead to a lot of conflict when making decisions about where the parent should live or whether they can afford a housekeeper.

When dividing caregiving tasks, roles, and responsibilities, take into account each family member’s interests and skills as well as their availability. Maybe your sister does not have time to go to doctor appointments with your dad during the day, but she can pay his bills online at night. Perhaps your brother, who lives out of state, can visit every few months to give you a break.

“We all have different strengths,” Grant says. “Try to recognize that and allow people to contribute in different ways.”

No matter how complex your sibling dynamics may be, it is possible to establish consensus. For a guide to getting everyone on the same page, download How to Manage Challenging Family Dynamics When Making Long-Term Care Decisions.