The term “self-care” has become a hot topic recently. However, knowing all that you should do to take care of yourself isn’t the same as being able to do it, especially when you're a caregiver.

For family caregivers of aging loved ones, especially loved ones with dementia, popular self-care activities like getting to the gym, cooking healthy meals, and going to the hair salon can wind up feeling more like a long list of “have-tos” that should feel good but instead feel burdensome.

If some days you just don’t feel like doing what you know you need to do, you’re not alone. Many caregivers feel too busy with their caregiving responsibilities. With so many other things to do, self-care can sometimes feel like an indulgence, which may lead to feelings of guilt.

However, there’s a reason why the flight attendant instructs you to put your oxygen mask on first. The fact is: If you don’t care for yourself first, you won’t be able to care for others.

Self-Care for Caregivers

If during the past week you’ve felt completely overwhelmed, had a crying spell, or felt strained between work and family responsibilities, chances are that you are experiencing a high degree of caregiver stress.

Fortunately, your body has a natural way to combat stress. You can activate the “relaxation response” through holistic mind-body practices like yoga, tai chi, meditation, and deep relaxation techniques.

Here’s a closer look at seven self-care activities for family caregivers:  

1. Stretch Your Body

Stretching increases flexibility, range of motion, and energy levels. It reduces muscle tension and provides relaxation and stress relief. Here are some simple stretches you can do. Hold each stretch for 10 to 30 seconds: 

• Triceps: Lift your right arm up and over your head, bending at your elbow. Grasp your elbow wit*h your left hand and gently pull toward your left shoulder. Hold and switch arms.
• Neck: With the palm of your right hand gently pull your head to your right shoulder. Hold the stretch and then repeat on the other side.
• Calf: Stand at arm’s length from a wall. Place your right foot behind your left foot. Bend the front knee, keeping the right leg straight and the heel of your back foot on the ground. Repeat on the other side.
• Pelvic: Stand tall and bring one knee to your chest, keeping the other foot flat on the floor. If needed, place one hand on a wall or the back of a chair for support. Hold and hug. Repeat on the other side.
• Lower back, hamstrings, and calves: Start by stretching both arms over your head, palms facing forward and your abdominal muscles pulled in. Bend forward from the waist allowing your weight to roll your body forward toward the ground. Reach your hands toward your toes.
• Quad: Stand with your feet hip-width apart and your back straight. Hold a wall or chair for support if needed. Grab your right foot in your right hand. Keep your thighs lined up next to each other and your right leg in line with the hip. Repeat on the other side.

Best of all, these stretches can be done almost any time and any place — even outside.

2. Go Outside

Spending time in the great outdoors is a free and very effective way of releasing and managing stress. The research shows that the outdoors has a “restorative” property, helping to restore your attention, creativity, and your desire to do more.

Whether you’re going on a walk, practicing tai chi, or just relaxing for a few minutes with the sun on your face, spending time outdoors can help relieve stress and anxiety, improve your mood, and boost feelings of happiness and well-being.

Pro tip: Leave your cell phone inside.

3. Practice Breath Awareness for 10 Minutes

One of the simplest deep relaxation techniques is breath awareness. The Harvard Medical School suggests this breathing exercise for caregivers:

• Find a comfortable seated position on a chair or cushion.
• Close your eyes and begin to notice your breath.
• It is common to have distracting thoughts come and go, but just let them pass, and gently bring your attention back to your breath.
• Breathe in slowly through your nose for five counts, hold and pause for five counts, and exhale for five counts. You may substitute phrases for the counts such as:
  • I breathe in calm and relaxing energy.
  • I pause to let the quiet energy relax my body.
  • I breathe out and release any anxious or tense energy.
• Continue for 10 minutes.

4. Create a Mindfulness Glitter Jar

A glitter jar is a visual metaphor for all the negative thoughts and feelings racing through your mind: household chores, errands, your loved one’s needs, family obligations, financial stressors, appointments, or difficult feelings such as anger, depression, or anxiety.

To make a glitter jar, you can use a mason jar, a spice jar, or even a plastic water bottle: 

• Fill the jar with water. Add glitter and a few drops of dish soap.
• Place the lid on the jar and close tightly.
• Shake it up! If needed, add a few more drops of dish soap.

When you need a break from the demands of caregiving or life in general, shake up the jar. As the glitter settles, focus on your breath and let your thoughts settle just as the glitter settles in the jar. Just as the water clears, your mind will become clearer as you take time to breathe deeply and accept what is.

5. Journal

Journaling is a creative and therapeutic activity that you can do for yourself anywhere, anytime. You can explore your innermost thoughts, feelings, and experiences.

Whether you use a pen and paper, a computer, or a smartphone app, here are some prompts to get the words flowing:  

• Stream of consciousness: Write down whatever comes to your mind for five minutes.
• How are you feeling today?
• What are your dreams or goals?
• Describe a moment you have experienced today through your senses. For example, what is something you saw, heard, felt, tasted, or smelled?
• Describe your perfect day.
• What are your strengths?

6. Reach Out to Friends

A lot of caregivers let their personal relationships take a back seat to caregiving, but maintaining these relationships will help sustain you and keep you positive. Whether you go on a 30-minute walk with a friend who can offer nonjudgmental emotional support or you call your sister who makes you laugh, set aside time each week for connecting.

Get connected to the caregiving resources in your community, too. Many communities have classes specifically about the disease your loved one is facing, and it might be helpful to talk to other caregivers about how they are coping with the challenges of the disease and uncertainty about the future. A local or online support group for caregivers is another source for finding comfort and reassurance.

7. Soothe with the Senses

Focusing on your senses and allowing yourself to be fully immersed in the sensory experience can bring calm to your mind and body. Here are some ideas:

• Vision: Imagine a safe, relaxing, beautiful place you would like to be, such as a beach, garden, or sunset.
• Hearing: Imagine the sound of the waves or lack of sound in a quiet room. Listen to relaxing music or sing.
• Smell: Refresh with the power of smell. Aromatherapy is a natural stress reliever you can get from scented candles, oils, incense, a diffuser, fresh air, and flowers.
• Taste: Eat a healthy snack, have a cup of herbal tea (cinnamon, jasmine, peppermint, or chamomile), or use herbs (basil, dill, garlic, or parsley).
• Touch: Pet an animal, take a bath, a long and hot shower, or stretch your muscles.

Remember, family caregivers: It is not selfish to focus on your own needs and desires when you are a caregiver. In fact, it’s an important part of the job.

Start with one small change. What will you do to practice self-care? Write down one of these self-care activities and post it on the mirror or your desk as a daily reminder. 

For more tips on caring for an aging parent, subscribe to Highgate Senior Living’s monthly newsletter, Purposeful Living, today.